Just put the f*@&ing turkey in the oven

You're hosting Thanksgiving and you're nervous about the turkey...
Watch this video!

This is my favorite instructional video of all time, and Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year.

Like Aunt Marie, I don't do brines, or dry rubs, or any of that stuff. Unlike Marie, I don't use butter (although butter is great, go ahead). Instead, I salt the turkey inside and out, and then I stuff it with a bunch of herbs, onions, garlic, apples, and lemon. I scatter those same aromatics around the bird. I rub the outside of the turkey with olive oil. I add some white wine to the pan. I cover the whole pan in foil. For two thirds of the cooking time, I keep it wrapped in foil.  I un-foil the turkey for the last third of the cooking time in order to let the skin brown. The turkey comes out perfectly moist every time, even the breast! It won't be as brown as if you have it uncovered the entire time, but it also won't end up dry and gross.

Roasting Turkey is super easy. Don't sweat it. Just put it in the f*cking oven.